This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize