Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
