I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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