So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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