I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
