She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
