The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
