"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
