Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
