My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
