i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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