I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
