He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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