I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
