Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
