even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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