Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
