In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
