none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
