No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
