I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize