Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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