Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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