you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
