She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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