i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
