my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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