I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
