I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Randomize