I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
