fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Randomize
