I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize