Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Randomize
