This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
