remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
