im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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