just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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