i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
