she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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