I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Your penis caused this!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
