The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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