just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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