end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
