I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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