her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
