She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
