when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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