I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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