Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize