You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Found the puke drawer
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
