I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
