he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
