I cockslap morals
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
