Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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