I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
dude i'm inner monologue high
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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