I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
