i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize