they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
