My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
