We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
do herpes really smell.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
