idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
FUCK WHALES
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