can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
